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Sunday 25 October 2015

Look At Me Now

I believe that when you're suffering from a mental illness, it is always possible to reach a turning point. Everyone will reach a turning point at some time in their life.

If you'd have asked me 4 months ago, I'd have never believed that I'd be where I am today.

Four months ago, I was a quivering wreck. I was sleeping rough, I was spending hundreds in order to self destruct, and I was completely and utterly hopeless. I spent the majority of my time hanging about on the streets or in a hospital bed. I could see no future for myself, I had lost all motivation and I didn't enjoy any of my hobbies anymore. If anybody had tried to tell me that I would soon be happy, and that I would soon have a life and a future, I'd have been absolutely convinced that they were lying to me.

If you're reading this and you feel hopeless, worthless, or so deeply unhappy that you can't envision a future for yourself, please listen to me.

Everyone can turn their life around. You can be happy and you can live your life to the full.

My turning point was when I was admitted to hospital. Although it was maybe not the best way to go about it, it worked.

If you want to be happy and have a good life, just go out there and do it! If you want to get better, work your ass off, because you are so much stronger than your thoughts. If you want to be an astronaut, or a nurse, or even a receptionist, you can damn well do it.

Anybody can do anything if they put their minds to it. Take it from somebody who was once convinced that she'd never get better - look at me now.




Saturday 17 October 2015

Being Admitted to a Psychiatric Hospital

Being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is something that anybody would find scary, especially for the first time. Knowing first hand just how scary an experience this can be, I thought that I'd give you a run-through of my admission and write a guide for anybody being admitted for the first time.

Arriving at the hospital 


When I arrived at the hospital, I was led to a comfy room where my admission papers were taken care of and I was introduced to a few members of staff. Although it may be scary, stay as calm as possible at this point - kicking off or attempting to abscond will escalate the situation and make things harder for you in the long run.

After my admission papers were completed, I was led to the 'search room'. Here, staff will search you by patting you down. But don't worry! It isn't as scary as it sounds. They will simply be checking to make sure that you haven't concealed any items that you shouldn't have. You will also likely be scanned by a metal detector, as well as your bags and their contents going through the same process. Anything that is deemed as being unsafe will be put into storage, but you can ask for it back when you're discharged!

You'll usually be introduced to the other patients and be shown around the ward, although this is dependent on how stable you are at that moment in time.

Personally, none of my hospital admissions have been planned in advance, so I've never had the opportunity to pack my own bags. If your admission is planned and you're able to pack your bags, here is a basic list of items to take with you:

Things to bring with you:

  • Clothes 
    • Socks
    • Underwear
    • Pyjamas 
    • Jumpers
    • T-shirts 
    • Jeans 
    • Comfy bottoms (such as jogging bottoms)
    • Slippers
    • Shoes
  • Toiletries 
    • Shampoo and conditioner 
    • Toothpaste and a toothbrush 
    • Deodorant (roll on only - NO AEROSOLS)
    • Hairbrush 
    • Shower gel 
    • Hair removal cream 
  • Things to keep you occupied
    • Puzzle books (crosswords, sudoku, codebreakers etc.)
    • Colouring books 
    • Pencils and pens 
    • Books 
    • MP3 player (without a camera)
    • School work 
    • Crochet/knitting 
    • Arts and crafts supplies (nothing sharp)
    • Portable DVD player and DVD's 
  • Money for when you get leave 
  • Snacks to store in the patient kitchen

Therapeutic timetable 

Throughout the day, we are encouraged to engage in what is called the therapeutic timetable. The therapeutic timetable is basically a plan for your day, taking into account your therapies, education and activities. It is good to engage in the timetable as it reflects positively on your progress and although at first they may not be your cup of tea, the activities often turn out to be really enjoyable! The timetable offers things such as Occupational Therapy sessions, Psychology sessions, education sessions, mealtimes, time off ward, free time and room access times.

Bedroom access times

Onto the subject of bedroom access! Most units are quite strict on when you can and when you can't access your bedroom - although this can be frustrating, there are valid reasons behind it! Being unable to access your room throughout the day decreases the chance of you isolating yourself, and it also makes you more likely to engage in the timetable. 

Where I am currently, we have to be out of our rooms by 09:00am on weekdays and 11:00am on weekends, then we are allowed back in at 06:00pm.

Being detained under the Mental Health Act

Being 'detained' is often referred to as being 'sectioned'. The Mental Health Act is a legislation that allows people to be kept in hospital and given treatment against their will. This isn't something that is used lightly, so don't worry too much about it - often, people are sectioned if they are too unwell to make decisions for themselves or if they are unwilling to voluntarily engage in treatment or a hospitalisation. 

If you are sectioned, this means that you are not allowed to leave hospital as and when you wish. This can be upsetting and feel very restrictive at first, but after a period of stability, you can be granted something called Section 17 leave, which is another law that allows a detained person to leave the hospital for a period of time.

If you are sectioned, the staff in charge of your care have a legal duty to read your rights to you. Some things included in your rights include the right to vote (if you are over 18), the right to an advocate and the right to appeal your section. 

What is an advocate?

An advocate is somebody that you are entitled to speak to should you have any worries or concerns about your treatment. An advocate is able to speak up for you if you feel unable to speak up for yourself. You have the right to speak to an advocate whether or not you are on a section, and this service is free of charge.

Medication

If you are unwell enough to have been admitted to hospital, then you are likely to be put on medication. People who aren't sectioned have the right to refuse medication, although if your health care professionals are worried that this will be detrimental to your well-being, you can be sectioned and given the medication against your will. 

The best thing to do is to take your medication whether or not you agree with it, and you might be surprised by the results! I was put on medication when I was admitted, and I was adamant that it wouldn't help at all, but it's done me the world of good.

Ward round

Ward round is a meeting between all of the professionals involved in your care that happens on a weekly basis. In ward round, you are able to make requests such as requests for leave, medication reviews, permission to have items in your bedroom and discharge. Ward round is a time to discuss your progress and to see whether anything surrounding your care needs to be changed or altered.

Appealing against your section

If you are on a section, one of your rights is the right to appeal. You have the right to a free solicitor and an advocate who can speak for you. When somebody is sectioned, you will be told how you can make an appeal and the process will be started if and when you choose it to be. Some time after you have appealed, you will have what is called a tribunal. A tribunal is a meeting where your primary healthcare professionals and independent healthcare professionals all meet to discuss whether or not they think you are well enough to be taken off of section.

The more you comply, the faster you will get out;

In the end, the only way that you'll ever get better and you'll ever be allowed to leave hospital is if you comply with treatment. Take your meds, engage with activities, eat at every mealtime, don't abscond, don't kick off, and don't isolate yourself. 

It may seem hypocritical of me to be writing this as I have been guilty of all of these behaviours in the past, but I've learnt from them. When I was first admitted, I was defiant and angry and I didn't want to get better. But, if you are taken into hospital, try and turn it into a positive experience. Think yourself lucky for being given treatment and care 24/7, and make the most of it. If you do what you're told, although at first it may anger you, you will get better sooner and as a result, you'll be able to leave hospital for good.




Sunday 11 October 2015

Alternatives to Self Harm

Self harming is an unhealthy coping mechanism used in order to cope with difficult feelings. Self harming can leave you scarred, ill and even severely injured. Throughout my struggle with self harming, I've learned several healthier ways of coping with my emotions which I thought that I would share!

  • Arts and Crafts 
    • Drawing 
    • Colouring 
    • Painting 
    • Pottery 
    • Knitting 
    • Crocheting 
    • Origami 
    • Decoupage 
    • Building 3D sculptures 
    • Comic book making 
  • Music 
    • Learning to play an instrument 
    • Writing a song 
    • Listening to music
    • Going to a gig
  • Self-care 
    • Have a bath 
    • Dye your hair 
    • Buy some nice clothes 
    • Apply some make-up 
    • Go for a walk 
    • Read a book 
    • Spend time with loved ones 
    • Meditation 
    • Mindfulness 
  • Retail Therapy!
    • Buy some stationary 
    • Treat yourself to some new clothes 
    • Buy soothing bath and beauty products 
  • Puzzles 
    • Sudoku 
    • Crosswords 
    • Codebreakers 
    • 3D puzzles 
    • Jigsaws 
    • Puzzle books 
    • Wordsearches 
    • Family games
    • Card games 
  • Sensory toys 
    • Stress balls 
    • Tangles 
    • Stretchy toys 
    • Bouncy balls 
    • Rubik's Cube 
    • Playdough/Clay 
    • Bouncing putty 
    • Sensory lights 
    • Bubble lamp/lava lamp 
  • Use suicide/self harm hotlines 
    • Samaritans 
    • Childline 
    • British Red Cross Society 
    • National Self Harm Network 
    • Missing People 
    • SARC (sexual assault referral centre)
    • MIND 
    • Young Minds 
    • Out-of-hours GP 
    • Emergency services 
  • Pet therapy!
I hope that some of these alternative coping mechanisms can help you and prevent you from self harming - you might have to keep trying, trying and trying, but if you try hard enough, they'll work eventually!

Saturday 10 October 2015

World Mental Health Day 2015

So, today is World Mental Health Day.

Having a mental health illness is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Statistics show that over a QUARTER of us will suffer from some form of mental illness in our lifetime.

I used to be too afraid to speak out about my mental illness, I was so worried that people would judge me and bully me. I used to hide the way I was feeling from everybody around me. But I've since learned that I have no reason to be ashamed of the fact that I am ill. I didn't ask to become unwell, and I didn't contribute to my illness, so why should I be afraid to speak out?

As most of you know, I've suffered from a severe mental illness for many years which has resulted in me being hospitalized and sectioned a number of times.

You should never, ever feel ashamed to speak out about the way that you are feeling. Mental illness can be just as disabling and traumatic as any physical illness, which is why both forms of illness should be treated with the same amount of care and attention.

If you are experiencing symptoms of mental illness, please tell somebody as soon as possible. You can't live with a mental illness; you are either recovering from it, or dying from it.

End the stigma, end the taboo, stop the stereotypes. Speak out and speak loud.


Belated Life Update

So, I've been absent for quite a while.
I guess that you could say that I have had a rather rocky few months.

Long story short, I had a terrible relapse around June/July this year, which resulted in me being detained under a section 2 of the mental health act. I was told that the section 2 was only a temporary measure in order for treatment to be given to me against my will, but my mental state continued to deteriorate.

I was sedated, and when I awoke, I was transferred to a Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit in Sheffield. I'm currently still in the same unit, which is 170 miles away from my home. My section 2 has been extended to a section 3, which I was initially extremely upset about, but I genuinely believe that the extension has saved my life.

I'm progressing really well! I'm currently on my THIRD overnight leave at home! When I'm at the unit, I'm on 15 minute checks and I'm allowed leave every day of the week! Hopefully I'll be leaving the PICU soon and I'll be transferred to an open ward.

I just wanted to add a thank you to everyone that has supported me the past few months. Thank you for sticking by my side, thank you for checking up on me, and thank you for never losing faith in my ability to get better. 


Then vs Now