I've been wanting to start a blog regarding my mental health, and my journey for a long while but I've always been so afraid of other people's opinions that I've just pushed the idea to the back of my mind. I was scared of being considered an "attention seeker", or a "fake", as so many others who choose to share the ins and outs of their minds are. But, I've learned that one step towards recovery is ignoring those with a negative judgement and beginning to focus on the positives.
Long story short, I was diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in late 2012, and admitted to an adolescent psychiatric unit in July the following year after a series of life-threatening behaviours. Later on, I was sectioned under the mental health act and transferred to a psychiatric intensive care unit 60 miles away from my home - my Mum travelled three hours every single day without fail just to keep me company the entire time I was an inpatient there. But, 60 miles was nothing; some patients were forced to come as far away as Ireland, 450 miles away from their loved ones due to the bed shortage.
I was discharged in October and had an amazing 10 month streak without any scary behaviour! Unfortunately, I relapsed 2 months ago. Since then, I've been in and out of hospital for both my mental and physical well-being, but I'll expand further on that later.
I feel like I'm really ready to get my life back and begin doing the things that I should have been doing the past few years that I've spent consumed by my mind - no teenager, or anybody for that matter should have to spend years going back and forth between hospital and home, bouncing between the two like a yo-yo.
My goal is to heal my mind, and help to lift the stigma against mental health in the process as well as letting others know that they're not alone in the way that they're feeling. I refuse to be treated like a prisoner by my thoughts any longer. :-)
