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Tuesday 29 December 2015

Life right now

"Imagine being thrown out to sea, the waves crashing over your head and gradually pulling you in deeper, deeper, deeper. You can see people on the shore stretching their arms out to pull you in, but they can never quite reach you. The waves are pulling you under now, they're pulling you down beneath the surface. You begin to panic, gasping for air but only filling your lungs with water. You trash your arms in an effort to reach the surface again, to no avail. Everything hurts. Your chest is aching and your eyes are stinging. Eventually, you start to give up. You feel helpless so you allow the waves to take you, to drag you under."

This is my life right now. My family are hundreds of miles away whilst I am trapped here, alone. I'm trying so hard, I promise I am. I'm doing everything I possibly can to keep my head above the water but some days, I just feel like letting the waves pull me under. What's the point in trying so hard, just for people to throw my efforts back in my face? Every week, I put my absolute everything into getting home leave so that I can be with my family, and every week I am told 'no'. I am lonely. I am homesick. I miss my family. And today, I just wish that the waves would hurry up and pull me under.

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